Healing after the loss of your mother

Losing your mother is devastating.

I lost my mother on 18 December 2013, a day that changed my life path forever.

Grieving the loss of my mother was a journey that pulled me in so many directions. It didn’t matter what direction I was being pulled, I felt like a lost soul.  I didn’t have an inch of hope left in my depleted body. I was exhausted.

I am a trained therapist and have worked with more than 400 clients over the last 15 years. I was skilled, I was a therapist, but that didn’t help me at all. It made no difference whatsoever. In 1951, Carl Jung first used the term “wounded healer”, well that’s me. I have been wounded. I was wounded well before losing my mother.

It’s been nearly 6 years since I lost of my mother and honestly, it still hurts.

In the last 2 years I have spent a lot of time exploring the pain living inside me and I discovered that healing does exist, but it’s a process. That doesn’t mean that we completely heal.  If we spend some time acknowledging and understanding our pain through the eyes of love and compassion, then we hold space for the grief, the loss and the pain living inside us.  

This is why I wrote Understanding the Impact of Losing your Mother – A 28 Days Healing Journey. If I can hold space for my own pain and heal parts of my grief, then so can others. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. The grief that seemed to envelope me was changing so many aspects of my life.  I was so lost in the world and everything felt like it was just too hard. My life was falling apart. I was no longer the same person anymore. I was losing friends. I was feeling more disconnected from my family because they didn’t understand my grief. My life felt hopeless, but worst of all, I felt hopeless for the first time ever in my life.  

After listening to someone talk about the importance of listening to your pain, it inspired me to do just that. I started to listen to my pain. Not just my emotional pain, but my physical pain too. I started to realise that my pain was speaking to me.  I think I was resisting my pain because I didn’t understand it or that it was too intense that I couldn’t hold space for it, so I just fell apart (this is a normal grief reaction).

When I started spending time exploring and understanding the pain of losing my mother, it gave me so much insight into myself, but most of all, it showed me the true impact of losing her.  This is the influence of 28 Days – A Healing Journey. It will give you so much insight into the pain living inside you, create new levels of self-awareness and lastly, healing will naturally and organically occur, without ever forcing it.  

Understanding the Impact of Losing your Mother – A 28 Days Healing Journey was NOT designed to take away your pain.

The Healing Journey has a strong therapeutic foundation and will help you understand and express your grief safely as you connect more deeply to the parts of you that are struggling. It will also introduce you to self-care and self-soothing exercises to help you take care of yourself whilst you are in pain.

What is included in the healing journey?

The healing journey gives you a daily awareness or healing exercise. There are 28 exercises in total. Each day you set aside some quality time (alone) to go through each exercise. The healing journey will stir up lots of emotions in an attempt to bring awareness, love and some healing to your grief.

Bonus Rituals: You will receive ten beautiful, intuitive rituals. Each one of them are unique. The goal of the rituals is to bring you into your mind, body and spirit in hope of awakening some of the pain living inside you and supporting inner healing. Some of the rituals will connect you to your mother in a creative and loving way.

  1. I am Safe
  2. I make space for my Grief
  3. Earth Mother Ritual
  4. Breathe into your Heart
  5. Dancing with my Grief
  6. Cocoon Ritual
  7. Photo Ritual
  8. Bath Ritual
  9. Walking Ritual
  10. Volcano Ritual

Bonus Guided Meditation: The healing Journey includes a guided meditation called “Release and Let Go”. It is a 35-minute guided visualisation that helps release and let go of anything that no longer serves you in the here and now.

How long does the healing journey take to complete?

The healing journey will take you 28 days to complete. However, because the content will stir up lots of emotions it may take longer. Trust your feelings and take as long as you need.

Who is this healing journey for?

The healing journey is mostly suited to women; however, men too are emotional beings and they too deserve to understand their journey of losing their mother. However, I honestly believe that women will be more attracted to the healing journey.

What is the cost for the healing journey?

The cost is a one-off payment of $199. Once you log into the website and pay the $199, you have access to the course straight away.

Is there any ongoing support during and after the healing journey?

There is a private Facebook group called “Understanding the Impact of Losing your Mother” for people who are participating in the healing journey or who have completed the healing journey. It’s a great way to keep in touch, to share feelings and to be supported while you are doing the healing journey. You can also contact me privately via messenger through the Dear Mum in Heaven Facebook Page.

The Healing Journey is available ONLINE or a Workbook and can be done in the comfort of your own home.

A General Overview of the Healing Journey

Day 1 My First Memory

You will explore the very first memory of your mother and the feelings associated to that memory.  You are searching for the link between the memory and how you are currently experiencing your grief and recognise the similarities.  

Day 2 Understanding My Grief Symptoms

You will get to know and understand your grief symptoms and how they are impacting your life. You will explore these symptoms more deeply through the eyes of love and compassion rather than judgement.

Day 3 Denying My Grief

Most of us have denied aspects of our grief which can escalate our pain. On day 3 you will become aware of the parts of you that you have denied and rejected and how this is impacting your life.

Day 4 Recognising My Feeling

On day 4 you will get to know your feelings by naming and acknowledging them. Once they are acknowledged, you can then honour them as a part of your grieving journey.

Day 5 I Safely Express my Anger

Most of us feel anger at some point during our grief journey.  This awareness exercise allows you to get to know the anger that you have experienced during your grief journey and express it constructively, without causing any harm.

Day 6 Getting to know my anger

On day 6 you will become aware of those that have angered you during your grief journey from a place of awareness and understanding. You will learn that not everyone has the ability to hold space for someone who is grieving.

Day 7 The Importance of Trust

Trusting someone with our feelings is such a beautiful and honouring experience. On day 7, you will get to know who you can and can’t trust with your feelings.

Day 8 Saying Hello to my Sadness

This is a body awareness exercise where you will get to know the sadness that is living inside your body. You will honour the sadness and understand it more deeply. It is a gentle way to explore your sadness.

Day 9 My Unresolved Sadness

Grief can trigger unresolved sadness that has been neglected and denied for years. On day 9 you will get to know some of the unresolved sadness that is still living inside you and exaggerating your grief experience. You will do this exercise from a space of love. 

Day 10 Living with Loneliness

This is a body awareness exercise where you will get to know the loneliness that is living inside your body, honour it and then express it.

Day 11 Subtle Self-Soothing

Self-Soothing is so important when grieving. On day 11, you will be given lots of self-soothing techniques that you can introduce into your life to help nurture your overall wellbeing while you are grieving.  

Day 12 Inner Child Poetry

We all have an inner child aspect. Losing our mother will definitely expose the wounded inner child.  Your sweet  inner child will write a poem to his or her mother.

Day 13 What I Most Loved About My Mum

Here you get to remember, acknowledge and write in your journal what you most loved about your mother. It’s a great way of remembering and honouring the beauty that she brought into your life.

Day 14 The Impacts of My Mother’s Death

On day 14, you will remember how your mother died. This is an awareness exercise that will be very painful to remember. Remembering will inform you of how her death is impacting you. It will teach you about the deep sadness living inside you based on how she died. We often want to forget, yet forgetting can cause more pain.

Day 15 What I Miss About My Mum

There is so much to miss about your mother. On day 15 you will explore all the things that you miss about her. This will help normalise your grief and become aware of why you feel so overwhelmed by her loss.

Day 16 My Survival Strategies

This awareness exercise will give you some insight into the survival strategies that have helped you cope with the loss of your mother.  You will gain knowledge of whether these survival strategies are helping you or hindering you.

Day 17 The Power of Poetry

Poetry is such a beautiful expression of feelings.  You will get to write a poem to your mother from your adult self. It may be a poem that tells her how much you miss her or it might be a poem that expresses the deep grief living inside you now that she is gone.  This is your poem and you get to write/say whatever is living inside you.

Day 18 The Hurting Heart

This beautiful awareness exercise takes you into your heart. Your heart is in so much pain and has so much to say. The unspoken words of the heart are finally spoken. 

Day 19 Understanding My Triggers

We all get triggered when we are grieving the loss of a loved one, especially around times of anniversaries.  This awareness exercise allows you to explore the triggers that show up in your life and how they impact your grief journey.

Day 20 Remembering Your Mother

When we lose someone we love we somehow remember all of the sad memories, the ones that make our heart ache.  This exercise is about recalling the beautiful memories of your mother, the memories that warm your hurting heart.  

Day 21 Tears That Tell A Story

Crying is a powerful expression of emotions. Our tears tell is so much. This exercise allows your tears to be given a voice. What are your tears telling you about your grief and loss?

Day 22 Signs of Poor Self-Care

Grief is exhausting and can take a toll on our mind, body and spirit. When we are grieving intensely, we get lost in our feelings and we forget to take care of ourselves. This is a normal response to grief. This awareness exercise will inform you of how poor-self-care is affecting your overall well-being.

Day 23 Self-Care Tips and Practices

Self-care is so important when you are grieving because grief can take such a toll on your overall wellbeing. This awareness and action exercise will introduce you to self-care tips and encourages you to take action towards better self-care.

Day 24 Dare to Dreams

Most of us dream about our mother after she has died. Sometimes the dream is very upsetting and other times it so beautiful to see her again. On day 24 you will recall a dream or many dreams that you have had about your mother and look for the deeper meaning in the dream. What did she come to tell you?

Day 25 Honouring the Darkness Within Ritual

Grief can bring an aspect of darkness to our life. It might be your mother’s funeral, the lack of support from family and/or friends, loneliness, anxiety or it may be just living your life without your mother. This ritual takes you into your body, exploring the darkness living inside you, followed by evoking love and light in an attempt to bring gentle healing to the shadows.

Day 26 I listen to my body (Body Awareness)

This full body awareness exercise will inform you of how your body is responding to the loss of your mother.  Once you have gained the awareness, you will then ask your body what it needs. For example, your body may want more sleep or more exercise. It may need to relax more. It may need healthier food and lots of water. It may want a long hot bath. Your body will tell you what it needs, if you listen to it.

Day 27 Imagining Heaven

Losing someone you love hurts a lot, yet the idea that they are resting peacefully in the arms of God or in Heaven can offer some respite and healing. This exercise is to explore how you imagine your mother in Heaven. Who is she with? Is she surrounded by love and peace? Is she an angel now? Is she happy there? Is she pain free?

Day 28 My Letter to Heaven

The last day is the most beautiful of all. On day 28 you get to write a beautiful, loving and heartfelt letter to your dearest mother in heaven. You will write the letters as if she will receive it in heaven. This is beautiful and symbolic way of connecting with her.  Your mother may be in heaven, but she lives in your heart forever.

Healing can be very painful yet once the healing journey begins, there is no turning back.  

 

Relax your mind, body and spirit with this beautiful guided meditation

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