My Unresolved Sadness
Staying on the theme of sadness I’d like you to make a list of all the other events in your life that have made you feel sad and that have triggered a grief reaction. You may want to refer to your notes from Day 8.
Here are a few examples:
- It may be the death of another person
- A divorce or separation
- The loss of a pet
- Friendship breakdown
- Loss of a job/retirement
- Loss of health
When we experience other losses in our life, it can intensify our current grief experience. What can happen is our unresolved grief triggers our current grief experience and this can deepen our pain.
It’s always helpful to understand that we are complex human beings and that grief is part of our overall life experience. With grief comes an enormous amount of emotion; sadness being one of them.
This exercise is to become aware of the complexities of grief and the impacts on our overall wellbeing. Grieving the loss of your mother is the primary loss, but walking right alongside this experience are a multitude of other losses that amplify the feelings of grief.
When we start to explore our unresolved grief, it allows us to understand ourselves with more compassion. It teaches us that we are complex beings and that we are afraid to express the pain of grief and loss. It also lets us know that unresolved grief will at some point show up in our life to remind us that it needs to be felt, expressed and understood for healing to occur.
May I share: I found that grieving the loss of my mother was so painful, but after three years of grieving, I realised that I wasn’t only grieving the loss of my mother, I was grieving so many unresolved childhood wounds.
These wounds exaggerated my grief. So, what I did, was go to the unresolved wounds, using a variety of techniques to help understand and heal the pain that has been living inside me. It was such a relief to acknowledge my pain.
“I can express myself”