Honouring the Darkness Within Ritual

You will need: a candle and a lighter, your journal and some gentle relaxation music.

Read through the ritual exercise before you start.

Rituals are a very powerful way of connecting with our inner world, even though the practice of ritual is an action.  In this ritual we are going to acknowledge an aspect of our grief that creates the feeling of darkness in our life. It might be your (loved ones) funeral, the lack of support from family and/or friends, loneliness, anxiety or it may be just living your life without your (loved one).

Firstly, I want you to find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted. Set up a safe place for your candle and lighter. Please use a tray that you can place your candle on. Start playing your relaxation music.

Now, I want you to imagine an event, situation or memory that has brought darkness to your life. Something that you have struggled with for quite some time.

Once you have identified with the event, situation or memory, I want you to close your eyes and tap into the darkness. I want you to really feel how that event, situation or memory is playing out in your mind and body. Get in touch with your emotions. Don’t be afraid of what you are feeling, it’s a normal part of grieving. This may feel really uncomfortable and scary, so if you prefer, maybe you could contact a friend before you do the ritual and let them know what you are doing and that you may need to call them after the ritual.

Once you have really identified with the feelings and the impact of the darkness, I want you to open your eyes and light the candle with the intention of bringing light to your darkness.

Once you have lit your candle, I want you to close your eyes and imagine or visualise the light shining upon your darkness. I want you to become aware of what that feels like in your body to bring light to your darkness.  Don’t rush this experience. Sit with it for as long as you can. 

Once you have finished the ritual, take a couple of deep breaths and reach for your journal and write down what you experienced from the beginning to the end.

The purpose of this ritual is to remind you that when you are really struggling with the darkness, you can call in the light.

Sometimes it’s the little things we do (like intentional rituals) that help us survive the days that brings us the most darkness.